Sunday, March 6, 2011


Hong Kong is like a prostitute, you love her for a few minutes and then you're left itching for days.

Here are a few questions that I have for Hong Kong...

1. Why don't your elevators work? It shouldn't have to tack on an extra half an hour to my commute. After the button is pushed, you should be at my floor at least within 25 minutes.
(an interesting side note.. the elevators in the theatre here are made by a company named Schindler's Lifts. You can't make up shit like that.)
2. Why are you so willing to push people on the sidewalk, yet you don't have the balls to J-walk?

3. You are so afraid of germs. Signs everywhere declare how often an area is sanitized, yet you are so eager to cough in my face. Explain.

4. Why do you put the "double chili pepper symbol" indicating extreme spiciness next to what arrives as bland boiled chicken?

5. Where are all of your daughters?

6. Why don't any of your signs regarding contracting swine flu contain the advice of staying away from pigs.

7. How does a 20 year old male drive a Lamborghini down the street with the same look of excitement as I have when I rent a Dodge Stratus from Avis?

8. Are you sure that Cantonese isn't the "Language of Love"?

9. I'm pretty sure that we invented Air-Conditioning, so why don't you turn yours down, I'm not impressed.

10. What's the quickest way to your airport?

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